What judges actually read.

The reality of the family-court bench

Family-court judges run dockets of twenty to forty cases per day. They have minutes — sometimes seconds — to absorb the substance of each one before they're hearing arguments live. Many of them have never read your file before they walk in. Some will read parts of it during your hearing. None of them will read the way your attorney prepared as if they would.

This is not a complaint about the system. It's a planning constraint. Once you accept that the judge has thirty seconds with your evidence, the prep changes.

The hierarchy of what gets read

The first page of the brief. If your attorney filed one, the first page is gold. If you're pro-se, write a one-page summary and put it on top.
The order or proposed order. Judges read the relief you're asking for first. Specific, narrow asks get read carefully. Vague or sweeping asks get skimmed.
The first three exhibits. If those are strong, the rest get more weight. If those are weak, the rest get skimmed.
Anything tabbed and highlighted. Tabs save judges time. Tabs get read.
Everything else. Maybe.

The one-page summary

The single most useful document you can produce is a one-page summary. Five to seven sentences. The structure that works:

One sentence on the relationship and current order.
One sentence on the change you're asking for.
Two to three sentences on the pattern of behavior or facts that support the change.
One sentence pointing to the strongest two or three exhibits.
One sentence on what you've already tried and why it didn't work.

That's it. No anger, no narrative, no character assessments. The judge does not have time for prose. They have time for a paragraph that lets them reconstruct your case in thirty seconds.

Three exhibits beat thirty

The most common pro-se mistake is bringing too much evidence. Thirty screenshots feels exhaustive. It is exhausting. The judge will read the first two and assume the rest are similar. If the first two are weak, the rest don't recover.

Pick the three best examples of the pattern. Make them airtight. Print them clean, with a one-line caption under each that ties them to the relief you're asking for. The other twenty-seven can sit in the binder as backup. The three are the ones that get read.

What judges actively dislike

Lengthy character attacks. Family-court judges have seen everything. "My ex is a narcissist" doesn't move them. The behavior pattern, in dated documented form, does.
Hearsay from the kids. Anything attributed to the children — "the kids said," "the kids told me" — raises an alienation flag, regardless of whether you intended it that way.
Disorganized binders. If the judge can't find what you're referencing in your testimony, the testimony loses weight.
Emotional witnesses on the stand. Tears are human. They are also distracting. Practice your composure as much as your facts.